I'm going on several months of high dose steroids and they are starting to take their toll on me, so please forgive this whiny blog. Anyone who has taken steroids before is well aware of the side effects. I've blogged about them before, they aren't fun. Lately, I'm suffering from the side effects of the steroids more than the lupus.
I'm tired of the shakiness. I have NO fine motor skills because my hands are too shaky. I'll be in bed and can feel my whole body shaking. It's irritating. And grooming myself has become quite a challenge. I can barely paint my own nails. Eye makeup is very difficult. Flossing is quite a challenge. So on and so on.
I'm tired of the acne. It's just gross. I'm in my thirties. I shouldn't have acne. It's not fair. Don't I have enough going on, now I have to deal with acne? It's just lame. Not to mention it effects my self esteem since I've never really been one who suffered from acne.
Speaking of self esteem, I cringe every time I look in the mirror. My face seems to have bloated to the size of a large beach ball. I first noticed in Thanksgiving pictures of myself. Then there were all the Christmas pictures that were even worse. Now I can barely look in the mirror. Fortunately, I have not gained weight and I've even been able to buy smaller pants, but my face is what everyone sees and it's huge. It's so huge, I've started to have trouble breathing because it suppresses my esophagus. It's lame. It's not fair. I just want to be normal again. Or at least my version of normal. I think I've been patient but enough is enough.
I know it could be worse. I could not have had Liam, not known I have lupus, and ended up on dialysis. That's way worse than a swollen face, acne, and shakiness. I'm grateful for the steroids because they will make me better but I'm still tired of them and I still think their lame.
Ok, the pity party is over. Thanks for coming.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Hey Flu Bug...Don't Bug Me
In case you haven't heard, Team Zumwalt has been visited by the flu bug. I was the first victim earlier this week. Well, I take that back. My niece and nephews were the first victims and possible givers of the flu bug, but I was the first victim in my household.
Team Zumwalt gets flu shots religiously so we were feeling pretty confident going into flu season. I guess we were overly confident because it hit hard and it hit fast. I went from feeling "ehh" to "call the funeral home" in a matter of minutes. I've had the flu once before and remember it being bad. Really bad. That was the year I didn't get the flu shot and I vowed to never skip it again as long as I (and the flu) live. It was just as bad the second time. I wouldn't wish the flu on my worst enemy although I don't really have enemies. I scored some Tamiflu and started feeling better just in time for Isaac to succumb to the dreaded flu. The only thing worse than having the flu is giving it to your little boy. It's so pathetic, although he didn't realize he was sick until he heard me calling my boss to explain I wouldn't be at work because my son was sick. He asked me why I said he was sick. Oops, the cat's out of the bag. So he scored some Tamiflu and hopefully he will be on the road to recovery in no time. At least I hope since I'm now about to die from cabin fever. On the plus side, I am getting lots of extra snuggles although they are quite snotty. I'll take it anyway since I know one day very soon he won't want to snuggle anymore. He will be way too cool for me.
In closing, if you're a praying person, please please please pray that Nick does not get the flu. I'm asking this for mostly selfish reasons. Nick is NOT a good sick person. He hasn't had as much practice as I have so when he gets a hang nail life is pretty miserable for everyone around so I can only imagine how he will be if he gets the dreaded flu bug. Thanks in advance.
Oh yeah, do you think Walgreen's will give me my money back for the flu shot since it didn't work? I think I still have my receipt.
Team Zumwalt gets flu shots religiously so we were feeling pretty confident going into flu season. I guess we were overly confident because it hit hard and it hit fast. I went from feeling "ehh" to "call the funeral home" in a matter of minutes. I've had the flu once before and remember it being bad. Really bad. That was the year I didn't get the flu shot and I vowed to never skip it again as long as I (and the flu) live. It was just as bad the second time. I wouldn't wish the flu on my worst enemy although I don't really have enemies. I scored some Tamiflu and started feeling better just in time for Isaac to succumb to the dreaded flu. The only thing worse than having the flu is giving it to your little boy. It's so pathetic, although he didn't realize he was sick until he heard me calling my boss to explain I wouldn't be at work because my son was sick. He asked me why I said he was sick. Oops, the cat's out of the bag. So he scored some Tamiflu and hopefully he will be on the road to recovery in no time. At least I hope since I'm now about to die from cabin fever. On the plus side, I am getting lots of extra snuggles although they are quite snotty. I'll take it anyway since I know one day very soon he won't want to snuggle anymore. He will be way too cool for me.
In closing, if you're a praying person, please please please pray that Nick does not get the flu. I'm asking this for mostly selfish reasons. Nick is NOT a good sick person. He hasn't had as much practice as I have so when he gets a hang nail life is pretty miserable for everyone around so I can only imagine how he will be if he gets the dreaded flu bug. Thanks in advance.
Oh yeah, do you think Walgreen's will give me my money back for the flu shot since it didn't work? I think I still have my receipt.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Report Card Time
So Isaac got his very first report card yesterday. I had been eagerly awaiting this report card for a week since they were initially supposed to go home last week. I barely got through the door when I started rifling through Isaac's backpack for his report card. I'm not sure what I was expecting or why I was so eager to see it, but I was. Maybe because I've wanted to be a fly on the wall ALL year long to see how my bright little boy was doing in Pre-K. The verdict: he's doing quite well.
I am pleased to report that Isaac got all S's (Satisfactory), except in two areas. He got a P (Progressing) in following the classroom rules, and putting things back where they belong.
At first, I must say the mamma bear in me was a little offended that my perfect little boy got two P's. Then, upon further reflection, I realized those are the two areas Isaac struggles with at home too! My stubborn little boy has a very hard time following the rules because he has a mind of his own. He questions everything and isn't afraid to question the rules. He's definitely not a rule or procedure follower. I'm sure he gets that from his dad. Further, when we ask him to pick up his toys at home this activity consists of him picking up everything and putting it ALL on his train table. So yes Mrs. Snow, I agree. Isaac has a hard time putting things back where they belong. After my reflection, I'm quite pleased that Isaac didn't get a Needs Improvement in these areas because if I were to rate him at home, that would definitely be his grade.
Lastly, when did my little boy get old enough to be in school and get report cards. Wasn't he just born like last week? His little life is going by so fast and I can't seem to slow it down. I remember when I was the one getting report cards and it felt as though time took forever!! It seemed like summer would never come and time stood still. Now, I can't even believe I have a child old enough to be in public school. Yikes. I just want it to all slow down. I want him to be my little Pre-K boy forever. Even with his lacking cleaning skills, and inability to follow rules. I'll take it if it means he will be my little boy forever.
I am pleased to report that Isaac got all S's (Satisfactory), except in two areas. He got a P (Progressing) in following the classroom rules, and putting things back where they belong.
At first, I must say the mamma bear in me was a little offended that my perfect little boy got two P's. Then, upon further reflection, I realized those are the two areas Isaac struggles with at home too! My stubborn little boy has a very hard time following the rules because he has a mind of his own. He questions everything and isn't afraid to question the rules. He's definitely not a rule or procedure follower. I'm sure he gets that from his dad. Further, when we ask him to pick up his toys at home this activity consists of him picking up everything and putting it ALL on his train table. So yes Mrs. Snow, I agree. Isaac has a hard time putting things back where they belong. After my reflection, I'm quite pleased that Isaac didn't get a Needs Improvement in these areas because if I were to rate him at home, that would definitely be his grade.
Lastly, when did my little boy get old enough to be in school and get report cards. Wasn't he just born like last week? His little life is going by so fast and I can't seem to slow it down. I remember when I was the one getting report cards and it felt as though time took forever!! It seemed like summer would never come and time stood still. Now, I can't even believe I have a child old enough to be in public school. Yikes. I just want it to all slow down. I want him to be my little Pre-K boy forever. Even with his lacking cleaning skills, and inability to follow rules. I'll take it if it means he will be my little boy forever.
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