First Day!

It's been an emotional day and I've been a hot mess, but I'm happy to report that we survived the first day of kindergarten. I was prepping Isaac for school and was telling him I would leave work early to pick him up and he wouldn't have to start the after school program until Monday. Here's where it gets painful: Isaac told me he didn't want to be picked up, he wanted to go to the after school program today. Ouch. I pulled myself together, and we were on our way (after the insane paparazzi moment we had at home). We were taking a few more pictures when Isaac asked us "are you guys going to leave?" Uh, not how I had pictured this going, but ok. I said "should we leave?" To which he replied "yes." Just then, I'm pretty sure I was stabbed in the heart although I saw no bleeding. So we quickly left and went to the Boo Hoo breakfast that was hosted by the PTA. I didn't see any boo hoo-ing going on so I had to try real hard to keep it together. I didn't want to be that mom.

I thought about him all day. I couldn't help myself. I'd watch the clock and wondered what he was doing at that moment and couldn't wait to pick him up. Finally, at 4:30 I couldn't stand it any longer and I left work to go get my big kindergarten boy. I walked in and found a boy who was about to crash. His big day had worn him out. Once we got home, I forced him to sit down and tell me every detail. After about 30 seconds of the play by play he said "and then we did blah blah blah, and when I say blah blah blah, that means we did a lot of stuff." Priceless. I asked him if he made any new friends today and he said "no, but probably I will tomorrow."

I still can't believe he's in kindergarten, but I'm so glad he had a good day and loves school. And I know you will all be as relieved as I was to know that he did not starve today as he was able to open his lunch box.

My Baby's Starting Kindergarten and I'm A Hot Mess!

Tomorrow I will be the proud parent of a big kindergartner. Isaac is fine, but I'm having major first day jitters. I haven't slept well all week. Isaac was in Pre-K last year so it's not like we are new to this public school thing. I find myself worrying about the most ridiculous things. I'm almost embarrassed to admit what I've been obsessing about. For example, the lunch box Isaac picked out is ridiculously hard to open. The crazy side of me has been worried all week that he won't get to eat lunch because he will be too afraid to ask a grown up for help. The rational side of me says that will never happen as my kid has never been afraid to ask a random grown up a question. Fortunately, my husband was able to tweak the lunch box and we've been practicing opening it so I'm pretty confident Isaac will be able to eat tomorrow. But what if Isaac wants milk with his lunch tomorrow? How will they know we put money in his account so he can have some? This is what has been keeping me up at night. I told you I'm crazy, right? Maybe I'm just having a hard time comprehending that Isaac is old enough for kindergarten. He's becoming such a neat kid and I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the reality that he's growing up so fast. Hopefully, I'm not the first crazy mom of a kindergartner. I'll end it there as it's a school night...

Last Day And New Beginnings

Yesterday was Isaac's last day of daycare. It was bitter sweet because it means two things.
1) Isaac is off to bigger and better things.
2) Isaac is off to bigger and better things.
The daycare Isaac went to was pretty special. They were the first and only people besides family that we've left Isaac with. When you work in the field I do, it's hard to leave your kid with just anybody. They are some special people and I'm pretty sure Ms. Pammy and Ms. Elaine love Isaac almost as much as we do. But, Isaac is done with daycare now and will start kindergarten on Thursday. Kindergarten? When did that happen. Didn't I just birth him last week? He's growing up so fast and I just can seemed to process it as fast as it's happening. Maybe every parent feels the same way. I'm really excited though. I think Isaac is pretty bright, so I'm excited for him to start school again and watch him learn and grow. He learned so much in Pre-K and that was only half a day. I just wish it wasn't happening so fast. He keeps talking about "when he's a grown up" and "when he has his own house". To him, it seems so far off, but to me I know it will be here in the blink of an eye.

Life Really Does Go On

This time last year, I remember people telling me things will get easier. They said I would never forget, but with time the pain would lessen. I only half way believed them. I'm a reasonable person who had experienced grief before so I knew it would probably at some point sting a little less. At that point we had just buried our son and we were drowning in grief so I couldn't really see past that. I knew my life would never be the same and it isn't, but in spite of our tragedy, my life is as good if not better than it was before. You can either wallow in your grief and let it eat you alive, or you can pick yourself up and rise above the tragedy. It's hard to be bitter about what happened to us because so much good has come from it. I had two follow up appointments today with the Hematologist and the Rheumatologist (the new one, not the old one that nearly let me die). It's amazing to see my progress from a medical standpoint. I mean, I know I feel good, but to have labs and doctors tell me I'm actually doing good is proof, life really does go on. A year ago, I didn't think that was possible. I still love and miss my precious Liam every day, but can't help but be giddy when I think about how he saved my life.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted!

Vacation 2011 is now in the books. It has been a while since our last real vacation. August of 2009 to be exact. And those of you that know me, know that vacation was more of a nightmare than a relaxing vacation. I broke one of my front teeth on a water bottle (the first day), my mom and Nick were both super sick, Nick got a speeding ticket and Isaac was a fussy three year old. Vacation fail. We had high hopes for this vacation, it had to be better than the last. I've learned to not say it can't be worse because again, those of you know me, know I've learned it can always be worse.

I'm happy to report everyone had an amazing time and we made some wonderful family memories. We rode an old steam train through the mountains, took a mine tour, vegged out, spent a day in Breckenridge, and had some much needed retail therapy at the outlet stores. I just wish vacation could last forever. I love spending so much quality time with my family. Plus, the cooler weather and the amazing scenery made it that much more enjoyable. And, the condo had a washer and dryer so we did laundry the day before we left which means I'm not spending my last day off doing a ton of laundry. Yay!

I come from a family that took several vacations a year. "Life" has gotten in the way of us doing the same for Isaac. It makes me sad. I had been on an airplane before I was two, was skiing by 6, left the country by 11, and traveled throughout Europe by 20. Isaac has never been on a plane, and has only been to four states so far(Five if you include Oklahoma which I don't). Yikes, I have some work to do. So my plan today since I'm not doing laundry, is to start researching our next vacation. Life is short, too short to be working all the time.