Easter

We had a wonderful Easter. We started the day by putting on our Easter best and heading out to an amazing church service. Nick and I feel so blessed that we have found a church home where we feel comfortable. We've been attending for over a year now and I can't help but feel Liam all around me every time I'm there. I can't explain it, but it's like he's telling me he's okay and is patiently waiting for his family to join him. What an amazing gift God has given me, to know that I will be with my son one day. I can't imagine the amazing Easter celebration Liam must have had this weekend in the arms of Jesus.

Although our celebration can't even compare to the one Liam experienced, we still had a pretty good time. Isaac once again got enough candy to last until next Easter. Talk about sugar overload. He scored big time.

Isaac looked so handsome. I can't believe how fast he is growing up. I remember his first Easter like it was yesterday. I put Cheerios in eggs and made him crawl around for them. Wasn't that just yesterday?

Let the sugar rush begin. This was just the beginning too. He had another Easter egg hunt at his Nanny and Poppy's house after lunch.

We hope you had a wonderful and blessed Easter. He is risen!!!

Catching Up

I have failed miserably at my blog lately so forgive me as I try to catch up in one night. February and March seemed to fly by in an instant and here we are in April already. Now that Easter is over I figured it was time to post my Valentine blog.

Isaac and I have started a new tradition of making yummy treats every holiday. It used to just be limited to our Christmas cookies, but we are expanding the tradition. This year we made yummy Valentine cookies to share with Isaac's Mimi and Nanny.

The cookies were a big hit although I'm not sure why there were a couple of frowny face cookies. They all taste the same so I guess it's ok. We made cookies and memories.

I love being able to attend Isaac's parties at school. I haven't missed one yet. I love seeing him in the school environment, but most of all I love being with him and seeing the look on his face when I walk in his classroom. Priceless.

Nick and I celebrated our 11th Valentines Day together at our favorite restaurant, Flemings. It was delish as usual. We get the same thing every time and I've posted pictures before so I'll save you from this in this blog. Then we celebrated as a family by having a family candlelight carpet picnic. Nick made a heart shaped pizza that we enjoyed by flameless candlelight. It was so fun, Isaac frequently asks if we can have a carpet picnic for dinner.

I love my boys more than life itself and we had a great Valentine's Day together.

What Time Is It??

What time is it you ask? I'll tell you, it's 12:14. I know this because Isaac has learned to tell time. He's so excited about this new skill that he likes to announce the time every minute. Every. Single. Minute. I've never seen a kid so focused on the time. The first thing he did this morning when he woke up was look at the clock. I guess he didn't believe the first clock he looked at because he had to run to his room and confirm the current time on the clock in his room. He also likes to confirm that the digital clocks are in sync with the analog clocks in the house. Weirdo. In the beginning it was cute and we were so proud of his new skill. Now, it kind of stresses me out. As someone who gets time stressed anyway, being reminded of the time constantly has increased my anxiety immensely.

Time seems to be going by so fast. It seems like just yesterday Isaac was by little baby who liked to have his butt patted in order for him to fall asleep. Now he's reading and telling time and bossing us around like we're idiots. Tomorrow I'm sure he'll be packing for college. This constant reminder of the time makes me realize I need to appreciate all these precious minutes I have because it is all going by so fast.

Taking The High Road

A couple of weeks ago we had an "issue" with out neighbor when we learned he called animal control and had traps set on his porch to catch cats. Within 24 hours of their call to animal control we found our cat, Mr. Biscuit (aka Honey Badger), in a trap on the neighbor's porch. Of course we were furious. We were mad that our cat had been an outside cat for six years and he just now became a problem. We were mad that they lacked communication skills and didn't come talk to us about our cat before taking such drastic measures. We were mad that they lacked any sort of neighborly social skills. We were mad that our cat had been traumatized and was nearly taken to the animal shelter. Nick of course cut the cat out of the cage and politely threw the cage back in the neighbor's yard. Ok, so maybe it wasn't so polite. At that point, we lacked neighborly social skills as well. We were mad.

We've stewed about this for weeks now. We've suffered through Mr. Biscuit essentially yelling at us because he wants to go outside so badly. We've tried to decide how we were going to retaliate. Real adult, I know. Nick had written them a nasty note which we never gave them. We talked about sending Isaac over and having him ask why they wanted his cat to die, which didn't seem like a good idea either. We tried to come up with reasons why we could call the city on them. Nick threatened to get his drums back out in the garage and make lots of noise. Until today, we had not done anything.


Today, I saw them carrying a cage with what I assumed was another cat, but it turned out to be an opossum. I decided I was going to take the high road and go talk to them in an adult manner and kill them with kindness. I started the conversation by apologizing if our cat had been a nuisance to them. Through the conversation I learned that until they saw Nick get Mr. Biscuit off their porch, they didn't realize we even had a cat. He said they were not trying to target our cat since they didn't even know we had one. I'm around liars all the time and he seemed genuine in his lack of knowledge about our cat. Come to think of it, they're rarely outside or even home so it's probably true.


Isaac was with me when I was talking to the neighbors and he witnessed adults communicating in a civil matter to solve problems. I'm pretty sure I prefer teaching him that lesson instead of the passive aggressive lesson he had seen Nick and I modeling the past two weeks. It just goes to show that you shouldn't make assumptions about people or situations because that can just create more problems and miscommunication. I'm glad I decided to take the high road, but more importantly, I'm glad I can stop being mad at my neighbors. And I'm glad Mr. Biscuit never had to go to the shelter although I still don't like him.

Operation: Get Rid Of The Ponytail

Many of you may wonder why I wear my hair in a ponytail 99% of the time. The truth is I lost a lot of hair during my stroke/lupus flare/premature birth ordeal. One of the symptoms of Lupus is hair loss. The only thing I could do with my thinning hair was to pull it back in a ponytail. I must say, for a while I didn't mind because let's face it, ponytails are huge time savers in the morning and sleep is precious. Since my Lupus is pretty much in remission my hair has been growing back, hence Operation: Get rid of the ponytail. My constant ponytail is starting to give me self esteem issues. As my blog from yesterday stated, it's been 21 months which really means my hair has probably been growing back for the last 12. The new hair is down to my shoulders now while the old hair is down to the middle of my back. It can be really awkward on the 1% chance I wear my hair down. I have a dilemma though. My new hair that is down to my shoulders is curly while my old hair is straight. Why can't anything be easy? So I asked my husband what he thought I should do. He said I should get a perm. What is this? 1995? My first mistake was asking someone who doesn't have hair for hair advice. My goal is to have the ponytail gone by the end of March. Hopefully by that time I will have figured out something to with my straight/curly, two different length hair. Fingers crossed.

It's Almost Been Two Years

It's almost been two years since our lives were forever changed by our sweet Liam. It still feels like it was just yesterday, but I also feel like we've come so far. It's been 21 months. Twenty-one months since I held Liam in my arms and felt him against my skin. I still think of Liam every day. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes I'm consumed with sadness that Liam is not here with us. Sometimes I feel so blessed for the gift he gave me. Other times I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel about the loss of my child. It's still a roller coaster of emotions.

While I think about Liam daily, I'm not able to look at his pictures very often. I don't need to. I have him memorized. I remember his little folded ear. His tiny hands. His lips that looked just like Isaac's. His smell. Everything. I am so grateful that we have such beautiful pictures, but sometimes seeing them makes me so unbelievably sad that he's not here with us. I miss him so much it hurts. I selfishly want him here with me. I know I will see him again one day, but sometimes that doesn't even bring comfort because I want him now.

Nick and I have been talking about another baby recently. Sometimes I get so hopeful about baby number 3. But, sometimes I get mad at that thought. I don't want a 3rd baby. I want my second baby. I want Liam. And talking about baby number 3 almost feels like I'm trying to replace Liam although in my head I know that's not true. We are scared. Scared to forget about Liam. Scared to risk getting hurt again. Scared for my health.

We don't know what God has in store for Team Zumwalt. All we can do is pray and hope we are willing to hear the answers. And we will continue to be grateful for our tiny gift who had a pretty big purpose.

Parenting Fail #978

So Nick and I had a major parenting fail yesterday. While it's a little sad, it's also a little funny so I thought I'd share so you can not only feel better about yourself as a parent, you may giggle a bit too.

Isaac came home yesterday and while he was putting his backpack and coat up he very angrily told me that I had made him eat an old sandwich for lunch. I quickly told him that Daddy took him to school so it clearly wasn't me, and then reminded him that they were having chicken at school and Daddy and I told him he was going to eat in the cafeteria. He clearly forgot. And Daddy clearly didn't check Isaac's backpack before sending him to school as his lunch pail was still in his backpack from FRIDAY and since Isaac saw it, he assumed he had "brought his lunch" to school. So yes, my son ate his leftover peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch yesterday. And that's all he ate, since there was obviously nothing else in there. At least he had milk, and in kindergarten they still eat snacks in the afternoon. I can't imagine what Isaac must have thought as he opened his lunch pail only to find his half eaten sandwich from last week. I hope none of the teachers saw his poor excuse for a lunch as I'm sure they would have called the welfare on me.

See, now don't you feel better about yourself? I bet you've never fed your kid 3 day old partial sandwiches. Needless to say, Nick and I felt horrible when we found out what had happened. Poor Isaac. He forgave us, but was a little bummed he missed out on chicken yesterday.