Keeping Promises

It's pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness week. That's got me thinking of Liam even more than usual. Right after he died I promised that his death wouldn't be in vain. I would use it to grow, help others, and GET HEALTHY.

I have decided to really focus on the "get healthy" promise. I've been working with my team of doctors for a year now to get my Lupus under control. It's been a long road, but that road has lead me to remission. For the most part my Lupus has been under control and my kidneys are better than they've been since before Isaac. I can pretty much check that part off the "get healthy" promise checklist.

Now, I must focus on the nex t part of getting healthy...my weight. I've been overweight for years. I've been on high doses of steroids off and on for many years which hasn't helped with my weight. However, I can't blame the steroids for everything, as much as I'd like to. Lifestyle plays a huge roll. We all know it. I kept hoping I'd wake up one day skinny, but it never happened. Shocker. There's no magic quick fix. Not sure why I ever thought it would be easy. It takes work to be healthy. I should know that better than anyone. So, I've been exercising more the last few weeks which feels good. It may be a walk around the block, or a bike ride around the neighborhood, but it's something. It's a start and you have to start somewhere.

Since I know that "every little bit helps" and I was feeling really inspired today, I decided to turn over a new leaf and take the stairs at work. Gasp. No, really. I was gasping for air. It's only three flights of stairs, but son of a nutcracker it was hard. I was praying nobody would talk to me from the door to my office as I was way to winded to have a conversation at that moment. I might have cussed a few times on the way up, but I was so proud that I did it. I even made my dear friend Christy take the stairs with me too. She and I have been talking about this for weeks and I decided today was the day. We were going to take baby steps and start with one flight at a time, but I decided we needed to go big or go home. I WILL NOT give up. I made a promise to my son. I'm sure by Thanksgiving Christy and I will be jogging up those three flights of stairs.

I have two reasons for going public with this information. 1. It helps to be accountable to someone. Even if it's anonymous blog readers. 2. The love, support, encouragement, and prayers I have received as a result of my blog has made a tremendous impact on my life and my journey to healing. I started this blog to chronicle the life I share with Nick and Isaac and it has turned into so much more. It has truly been therapy to me and if you are reading this, I can't thank you enough. The feedback I have received has truly changed me. It's made me better.