LMZ

I still think of Liam every day, but lately I’ve been thinking about him a lot more. May 12, 2010 is his birthday, but September 7, 2010 was his due date. Since then, there hasn’t been a September 7th that has gone by that wasn’t completely emotional for Nick and I. This September, we should have a two year old running around our house. We should have Liam. He should be terrorizing Isaac by messing with all his toys, he should be terrorizing Nick and I with his terrible two behavior, and he should be terrorizing the dog by trying to ride him like a horse. That is what I thought our life would be like. That is what I’d hoped our life would be like. With that being said, our life is exactly how God intended it to be.

Our reality is that Liam is in Heaven. There is no better place for him to be, but I so desperately want him in my arms. I’m not mad that Liam is not here, and I never have been. Liam had a big purpose, he saved my life. I so desperately want to know him. I want to know this amazing human being that saved my life, but I must wait. Waiting is hard. Waiting is what we must do.

My intent for this blog is not to make you feel sorry for us. I’ve never wanted anyone’s pity. When I think of Liam it makes me happy. I want you to be happy when you think of Liam too. So many good things have come from our terrible tragedy. Nick and I are closer than ever, we appreciate Isaac even more, we have found a church home, and now that I have an accurate diagnosis I am healthier than I’ve been in a long time. It’s been two years since our ordeal and we still think of Liam daily. I like to remind everyone else about my son and the amazing thing he did for me. While our life is not how I’d hoped it would be, it’s still a wonderful life full of many amazing blessings and we are so grateful. Who knows what the future holds for Team Zumwalt. What I do know is whatever life throws at us, we'll get through it together. Just like we always do.