My Version

I've been pretty public throughout our entire journey over the last two and a half years. I know I have the right to be private about my life, and some people think I should be more private. With that being said, Nick and I have been "planning" something for the last few months that we've been keeping to ourselves. We had planned to keep our plans to ourselves until there was something to report, but somewhere inside me it felt dishonest. I've been so open and it has truly helped get me out of the hole. The love, support, and prayers were my lifeline. Who knows where I'd be had I not been so open and received such love and support. That same love, support, and prayers are exactly what we need right now as we continue this journey and we wouldn't get that if we stayed quiet. How could I not be open about this next part?

We kept quiet while we were planning this for obvious reasons. We needed multiple green lights from my plethora of doctors to move forward. The hardest green light I had to earn was Nick's. If you remember, the last time it was pretty scary for him. He almost lost Liam and me. He's not a gambler when it comes to my health and well being. We've often joked about how we wish he could be pregnant and have another baby for us, but the more I thought about it I decided he couldn't handle pregnancy. I'm way more tough when it comes to that kind of stuff. I went to work even though I was having a stroke, and he goes to the doctor for a hang nail determined it's fatal. Anyway, after much consideration and prayer, we decided to give ourselves the green light to try for another baby if we could get the medical professionals on board. You may have seen my facebook posts about changes in medication, this is why. We got our final green light yesterday from the woman who was there in our darkest hour. The woman who cried with us, held our hands, and saved my life. Dr. Lofgren gave me the green light, told me she wouldn't get a protective order against me, developed a plan, and finally pulled our goalie.

So here we go. We are going to attempt to become Zumwalt, party of five. I know we've made the right decision. I know this because when I got home from Dr. Lofgren's office yesterday, Liam's pinwheel was blowing and spinning like crazy even though there was very little wind. I know that was Liam telling me everything would be OK. If you're the praying type, we ask that you pray for our family, my health, and that this all works out. Stay tuned.