Saturday, October 30, 2010

Let's try this again...

So, over a year ago I attempted to start a blog. I was profoundly moved by the love I had for my family and I wanted to document every minute so I wouldn't forget all the wonderful things that were happening to my family. Clearly, my first attempt at blogging was a huge FAIL. Life happened and blogging about it sort of became a mute point.

So here we are over a year later and I have been inspired to try again. It's not like I have anything else significant going on in my life that would make me fail again, right? WRONG. Let me catch you up a little on the tests that Team Zumwalt endured this past year. Buckle your seat belt, it's a bumpy ride.

Where to begin? In December 2009 Team Zumwalt learned we would be expanding our little family by one. We were thrilled to say the least. We were so excited to be Zumwalt Party of Four. We have an amazing little boy and couldn't wait to have more children. Almost immediately, there were problems. I started out being constantly sick. Not unlike my previous pregnancy. This was worse. I ended up in the ER in February, had a chest X-Ray and learned my heart was enlarged. A potentially serious and sometimes fatal issue for women in pregnancy. We had lots of tests, blah blah blah and everything turned out ok with the ol' ticker. Praise God. Next, I was spilling ridiculous amounts of protien in my urine which means kidney issues. Awesome. Saw the kidney doc. He and the OB thouht I had undiagnosed Lupus to go along with my already significant autoimmune issues. My rheumatologist disagreed but didn't test me. That was March. I struggled a little more until things came crashing down in May. It was the first of May, I was having lots of swelling and blurred vision. Then came the left side numbness. Not good right? Went to the OB, learned I was bleeding, sac was buldging, and I stroked out in her office. Literally, I had a stroke in the OB office. Is this really happening? Yes. I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital where I hung out for a week before my precious Liam couldn't wait any longer to be born. He was born at 23/24 weeks depending on which doctor you talk to. I vote 24. I know when I got pregnant. Clearly, it was too early and he did not survive. We were grief stricken. But we didn't have much time to grieve for him as that night, I nearly met my maker. I had significant blood loss from the blood thinners and giving birth. I ended up nearly coding on the toilet and only came around to the sound of my husband yelling at me. After four blood transfusions, I ended up in the ICU blah blah blah.I recovered enough to go home several days later only after my cute little mom advocated for me to be discharged so I could go home and bury my baby. Fast forward to today. I have been slowly recovering. I do have Lupus. We are treating it. The hope is that I will be treated into remission and can live my normal life.

My intent for catching you up on all of this stuff is not to seek sympathy or pity. Nobody should ever feel sorry for me or Team Zumwalt. We are strong, we are fighters, and we are blessed beyond measure. I strongly believe that Liam's purpose was to save my life so that his big brother, Isaac would have a strong, healthy mom. I am eternally grateful to Liam for that. He will always be a part our family. We love him more than words can ever express. We think of him daily and our faith tells us that we will be Zumwalt party of 4 in Heaven one day, or there is a slim chance it could be party of 5 but we can save that for another time, let's get healthy first. We thank God every day that I am still here and that I am getting better and stronger every day.

Through all of this we have learned how precious life is and I don't want to take a minute of it for granted. I'm going to try very hard to stay checked in and enjoy every moment so that if our life is suddenly tested again, as I know it will be, I will not have any regrets. Hence, my second attempt at blogging. Wish me luck people! I survived a stroke surely, I can keep up with a blog, right?