Sunday, September 25, 2016

Big Changes

If I'm being honest, I've been a ball of anxiety (even more than normal) for several weeks leading up to Levi's birthday. Levi turning 3 has always meant lots of changes for our family. If you know me, you know I'm not really a fan of change. I know that's true for a lot of people, but I like to be comfortable. That's why I'm anti pants. I'm comfortable with our pre-3 routine. Most Sunday's I'm a complete sloth after church. It takes me .5 seconds when we get home to get back in my jammies and vegetate for the rest of the day. Today, the only way I've been able to cope with my anxiety is to not sit down. After my Target shopping trip for Levi's school supplies I have organized said supplies no less than 87 times. In between organizing Levi's school stuff, I organized all his clothes in his closet and storage cabinet. Then I organized Levi's school supplies 82 more times. I'm hoping that blogging will help get my anxiety out of my body. Fingers crossed. Drinking a half a pot of coffee this afternoon certainly has not helped. I'm usually smarter than that. I might need to make a Walmart run for some NyQuil.

Levi turning three means we would say good-bye to SoonerStart, a support team that we had become incredibly attached to. I can honestly say we would not have survived the last 2.5 years without Michelle, Lori, Linda, Susan, and Debbie. I love those ladies like they are my family. They love Levi like he is theirs. Levi will transition to the special education program through the public school and we will gain a new set of providers for him. He's also been approved for nursing care five days a week and won't go to his Nanny's house while we work. All of these changes are an incredible opportunity for Levi to grow and develop, but they also mean Momma has to adjust. Levi has never been left with anyone except our parents and my sister. Ever. Besides Nick and I, our moms are Levi's primary caregivers. Poppy Tom may be just about as nervous as I am for this change. And even though this will be a relief to my dear mother-in-law, I know that everyone in her house will miss seeing him every day, especially her. Tomorrow I will put Levi in his wheelchair and roll him on to a bus and let total strangers drive him away. You read that right. Oh em gee. That gives me butterflies. And tears. No lie, I'm totally going to stalk follow the bus to the school to make sure everything goes smoothly. I may or may not take my binoculars and sit in the parking lot and watch him through the classroom window. I'm not sure which of these changes is giving me the most anxiety, Levi going to school, or the fact that I have to wear pants every evening in my own home since a nurse will be here.  Maybe it'll be a really nice nurse who won't mind that I'm anti pants. We'll see. I'm sure I'll get used to our post-3 routine just as I did to our pre-3 routine and in the long run I know I will it will be amazing for our family, especially Levi.

A few more things before I go. If you'll notice I used Levi's real name this entire blog. Please let his new speech therapist know that I'm already complying with his IEP goal of learning to recognize his name. I asked her which name; Gary, Levonte, Chooch, or Bubbles, and she seemed confused. So we agreed on Levi. Second, I apologize in advance for blowing up your Facebook feed tomorrow with all the Levi posts. Last, thank you for loving and supporting us in this journey. We couldn't survive without all of the Levi fanatics. It truly does take a village.

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