How many kids do you have? This is a question I struggle with. It's been asked of me a lot lately as I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of new friends recently.
My standard answer is one. First of all, it's the truth. I have one child I'm raising and trying not to screw up. Second, it's easier to say one and save both me and the person asking from that awkwardness of explaining I have a dead child. I'm ok talking about my situation but I certainly don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable. Third, I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I do enough of that for myself I certainly would hate for others to waste energy feeling that for me too.
With that being said, I always feel a tinge of guilt when my answer is one. It's like I'm saying Liam wasn't a ginormous part of our lives even if his life was so short. Isaac tells people he has a brother, so why should I leave Liam out? The reality is, I gave birth to two children. Two beautiful children. I want the world to know that. I'm proud of my beautiful children.
I recently joined a MOPS group. We have name tags with stickers on them indicating how many children we have. I had help with my name tag and was asked how many football stickers I wanted on my name tag by someone who was aware of my situation. My answer for the first time...two. It felt good.
I completely understand this. Even now, 16 years later, it's always a struggle--do I say 3? or 4?
ReplyDeleteI think, from reading your blog, that you and Nick have handled yourselves with uncommon grace during this difficult time.
Blessings,
Amanda